Wednesday 18 July 2012

Temptation


My Enemy!!!

Temptation:

Okay, so I was really, really, really hungry! my mouth just wanted to munch and chew!!!
I walked around the house trying to avoid food. Every turn and step I took there it was. Food. On many occasions I reached out for it and then stopped my self from taking it. We have this storage in our house where we keep food. (Heaven for a gastroparesis sufferer!!! lol) I opened it a few times and searched and I found so many edible things that my mouth watered and itched to start munching! I looked around like a spy as if I was on secret mission! 0_o Searching the storage vigorously yet trying to be as quite as possible so that no one could hear me.
There were so many choices *mouth watering uncontrollably* I heard someone coming down the stairs and grabbed what ever came to my hand first. A chocolate broiche roll. So I quickly shut the storage and put it in my side pocket just in time. Mum came down the stairs and I walked up the stairs to my room pretending nothing happened. Unfortunately I don't have a lock in my room so I sat against the door and opened the wrapper. It was the most amazing sound that I had heard in a long time. All this time my mouth was watering. The smell smashed my nostrils with sweetness and joy as I quickly took a bite from it savouring every little piece. The Flavours exploded in y mouth. The silkiness of the chocolate hiding in the bread and the fluffiness of the bread was just magical! Just the last bite left and I didn't realise my mum was knocking on my door so i shoved it in mouth and swallowed it as quickly as possible. Oh I wanted the joy to last longer but it wasn't meant to be on this occasion.
Mum didn't say anything but I could tell she knew. 30 seconds later and I could feel it rushing up to my throat and burning whatever came its way. If the toilet was not close to my room I would have surely puked on my carpet. And as many times I have said it before that I regret it and I won't do it again but I did! Its easy said than done.
I vomited more than 15 times! to the point that nothing was left in my stomach not even the acid but I still was retching uncontrollably! And the PAIN is unbearable! My chest, my stomach, my intestines and my body feel like they are being stabbed continuously!!! Its taken out so much energy from me that even typing this is unbearable because of the extreme nausea, pain and heart burn!

If only I could just take a sip of water with out causing me to vomit and pain!

Daily life of Gastroparesis!


Hafsa x

1 comment:

  1. one day, there WILL be a cure for you.x

    ReplyDelete

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